A "worship" Service

Here I am. Standing at church. 
The music is about to begin. 
In my mind I am not prepared for worship. 
My day didn’t start as I had hoped. 
My mind goes back to this morning’s attitude, last night’s argument with my mom. 
I am not prepared for worship. 
I feel like crap. 
I can’t stand the person in front of me; I was laughed at by the person in back. 
My day started bad, and I know it will only get worse. 
The music starts. 
I form the words. Sound comes out of my mouth. 
The song thanks God for a wonderful, glorious brand new day. 
I raise my hands and even dance a little. 
But wait, 
I stop. I sit. I think. 
“I am such a hypocrite.” 
Do I really even mean the words I am singing? 
No, my day has been bad and I don’t feel like praising. 
I can fake it. 
No, I feel like a worse person making people think I am doing fine. 
Making people think I am “so mature” in Christ. 
So I stay. Seated. 

Then a voice whispers in my ear, 
“Am I not still worthy?” 

“Yes, but…” 

“I still deserve your worship, even on your ‘bad’ days” 
............ 
“Besides this time isn’t about you or what you feel Victoria, it is about me and my majesty” 

“But I don’t feel like I mean it right now, you want me to be authentic right?” 

“Your mind might say you are having a bad day and that you don’t mean it, but you worship with the spirit that I have given you! I am still worthy to be worshipped! And your spirit knows this, don’t let your silly mind get in the way.” 

“But people will look at me and think that I am more than I really am, I don’t feel worthy to worship you in public when I have sinned, and I don’t want people to get the wrong impression.” 

A shout, like the roar of a lion, in almost anger, 
“Of course you are more than you could ever be! You were bought with a price! And now my spirit dwells in you. The same spirit is in all those here in this church. The same spirit reigns in all Christians form the “spiritual babies” to the “spiritual giants.” 
……… 
“And besides, you are not worshipping to please or displease people, but to magnify me! I am the only one who you need to concern yourself with at this time.” 
……… 
“I am always worthy no matter what kind of person you seem to be at the moment, and if you don’t praise me, the rocks will cry out!” 

I stand. I sing. I worship. 
I magnify the Alpha and Omega. 
My glorious creator. 
I sing holy, holy 
I sing glory, glory 
Distractions come to my head, but I block them out with songs of praise to my king. 
And soon I forget I was even having a bad day.